My Personal Encounters with Muslims and their Treatment of Women - Part I

The Lord God said: “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him.” Genesis 2:18

The other night I opened a video sent in by a dedicated Conservative in Action that has prompted me to write this article. So much information and videos on the horrible situation of Muslim women is sent to me that I often wonder if it can ever change. We should count our blessings to live in this great country where we all have a voice if we choose to use it. The video he sent is probably the most disturbing I have ever seen, the stoning of a 17 year old Iraqi girl. It even invaded my dreams. A less graphic video is enclosed and still I do not recommend viewing if you are faint of heart. This human tragedy can come to America if we are not more diligent and become better informed. The Ground Zero Mosque controversy has opened the eyes of many Americans to Sharia Law and the ‘religion of peace’. The men watching this barbaric act are just as guilty as those who actually perpetrated the murder of a defenseless girl. It was appalling to see so many filming with their cell phones.


After viewing the video, I thought about the young girl not being allowed to live her life as she wanted. This thought triggered some old memories from the days I was working from my studio as a portrait, event and wedding photographer in the early years between 1984 and 1994 and the encounters I had with ‘Arabs’ that I now understand were Muslims. There are three that really stand out worthy of recounting. These are the most revealing and give a good look as to how Muslim men view women. It is also a shocking realization of how totally naive we all were. Living in San Antonio I had heard about the ‘language school’ at Lackland AFB where men from the Middle East came to learn how to speak English. That was the extent of my knowledge for the ‘Arabs’. It is important to distinguish between domestic violence which is usually a crime of passion and stoning which is part of the ‘religion of peace’ and is written in the Quran and is methodical.

The ‘Middle East’ meant a far away place. I can remember lumping all of the Middle Eastern people into one big group and calling them Arabs. It took me a while to differentiate between the Iraqi, the Egyptians and the Iranians. Local newspapers ran stories and maps describing the Middle East so that we could familiarize ourselves with that part of the world. I twirled my world map so that I could acquaint myself with the geography. Never, never did it occur to me to read the Quran nor did I give their religion a single thought. Basically I had no knowledge of their culture and without consciously knowing it, I was embarking on a learning expedition. The enclosed Mideast crisis map dated September 23, 1990 and article reveal how innocent America was. Not one clue of what was to come just eleven years later.


September 23, l990

Understand that two of these encounters were extremely offensive to me but I reacted like so many conservative Americans had been programmed to act. Mind your own business, do your job and smile. No wonder the Muslims see us as weak! No wonder they can verbalize such hateful words and think that they can get away without being caught or admonished.


I will start with my luckiest encounter with a Muslim in late 1988 during a portrait sitting. This encounter gave me insight into what Muslim men think about women, especially American women. A designer in San Antonio asked me to do the photography of several royal robes that he had beaded and worked so hard to recreate from the original designs by the Russian jeweler, Peter Carl Faberge and the duchesses who wore them for the Lutheran Coronation, a Christian organization.

The designer brought along his assistant who happened to be from the Middle East. His job was to help the designer arrange the trains on the robes so as to capture the beauty of the sequined and beaded designs on each gown. He began to talk and I listened. He related to me how he liked being in San Antonio, the usual small talk, but then he said something that grabbed my attention. He told me how he liked the beautiful dark women in San Antonio and how he enjoyed dating them. He spoke of his girlfriend and his close relationship with her. I asked when the wedding would take place, always looking for clients. His reply astonished me because his answer was so cold, so matter of fact. “Marriage, no I will not marry this woman she is an American and all American women are easy. They are good to have sex with but not marry. I will go home and find a virgin to marry.” What an answer, but what great information for a single woman to know. I put him in the category of ‘jerk’, never connecting him to his ‘religion of peace’.


The saddest encounter was with an ‘Arab’ officer stationed at Lackland AFB who I was told regularly held parties for his men at local Mediterranean restaurants when they graduated from the language school. A friend introduced me to him so that I could have the opportunity of photographing the next event. I was invited to have dinner with the officer and his family as he wanted to meet me first. I agreed. I often met clients in their offices, restaurants, and homes to discuss their photography needs so this was not out of the ordinary. I went to his home and I met his wife and his young son. His wife was fixing dinner while the Arab officer showed me their home. Disbelief is what I felt when he led me to a closet and opened it and said these are the beautiful dresses for the women I bring here to have sex. He actually verbalized this to me while his wife was preparing dinner. Not a word did I say….I was still in shock when he led me to the dinner table. This is what I remember next. He sat in front of me with his son by his side. His wife came in and placed the platters of food on the table and walked out of the room. He served me a portion on my plate and for his son and for himself. I waited for his wife to return to sit with us. He looked at me and said, “You can eat now if you like”, and I replied that I was waiting for his wife. He said, “No, she will not sit and eat with us. You may sit with me only because you are an American and a business woman.” More shock to my brain. I sat in silence and politely forced the food down because I had difficulty swallowing. My brain had much more trouble digesting what had just happened. I did get the assignment.

Sūra IV.: Nisāa, or The Women.

Section 3 15. If any of your women
Are guilty of lewdness,
Take the evidence of four
(Reliable) witnesses from amongst you
Against them; and if they testify,
Confine them to houses until
Death do claim them,
Or God ordain for them
Some (other) way.

QURAN 24 2

The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with a hundred stripes. Let not pity withhold you in their case, in a punishment prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment. (This punishment is for unmarried persons guilty of the above crime but if married persons commit it, the punishment is to stone them to death, according to Allahs Law).

The Prophets (pbuh) Stoning of Adulterers





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It is sad for me to admit, but I was very disappointed when President George Bush Jr. said that Muslim is a peaceful religion.  What a terrible way to misinform America.  We need to know the truth!  Oh!  I wish the Founding Fathers would have realized how bad things were going to get, and put some type of wording in the Constitution that would only allow Christianity as the only religion in this country.  Even though, we do have to remember that Christ die for all of us, including the Muslims.

hey or salam which means peace and thats how we say hi in muslim religion am muslim and am 19 years old,and am really shocked and surprised about all what you wrote but its really nothin like the muslim religion said visiting 1 bad muslim doesnt mean thats how muslim religion is study the quran which is the truth about the religion its nothing like wat u described it is ,i wish you can also come and visit my family and see how muslim families are really like i was born in egypt and i bein muslim all my life am a college student now i came to america when i was 16 most or all my friends are different religion than me in fact i dont really know anyone that is muslim but me ,i was a junior in high school when i came here which is where i met the love of my life she is christion by the way i was 17 just turned 17 when i met her we were in class with each other we start walking everyday to school together she had a christion boyfriend by then but i didnt know she did,we use to hang out all the time till 1 time she tried to kiss me and i said no i cant do that she though its because she have a boyfriend but i said no i didnt kno that she was like then whats wrong ,i said its my religion i cant do that till we get married i can only do that with my wife ,she said but its okay i want to isaid no i cant she got so shocked and she was amazed she said you are so different before i met my boyfriend i never wanted to do anything like that i wanted to stay virgin till i get married but my boyfriend talk her in to doing it he told her its okay comon you going to lose it anyway someday but all what she ever dreamed for was for her it to be special and to wait till the day she gets married to do it,and she said all guys usually want to do it and am throwing myself at you but you dont want to i said yes i cant am scared of the punishment from god and by the way in this time i was living with my dad's friends house who were christion also and i loved them like my parents i use to call them mom and dad sometimes,so then she asked me to teach her more about the religion and about islam,which i learned since i was born in egypt i start telling her everything and how that i cant do anything with any girl till am going to marry her and that if our love was tru then we will continue till we get married and then thats wen we are allowed to each other i bought her quran that was translated in english but from my country i asked my dad to bring one with him when my parents were finally coming which was in my senior year and i was living in he friends place before was because my parents had work and couldnt come and i wanted to study in america all my life and the reason for that is my bestfriend markis who is also christion who i met when i was 12 and we are bestfriends till today because we always dreamed about growing up together and going to a big university with each other,so on my girlfriend brakes up with her boyfriend who was basiclly abusing her for sex and later on the senior year she realize he was cheating on her with her bestfriend,but then after i bought her the quran muslim book and she start reading them and ask me about stuff that she didnt understand i told her to come meet my family but as my friend cause i cant have a girlfriend because it against the religion but she knew i loved her and she loved me too and she start visiting my parents most of the time andin this time my parents start to get worried about me they asked me once son you know that we got u here to study and not to do all this bad stuff that usually people do it here i told him trust me dad am still good she is just a friend but i do love her but nothing will ever happen till we get married if it happened he said thats how i taught u and thats our religion,so on since then we bein together till today and we are 19 now first year college we are totally in love and together but not together we are waiting to get married but now she is my fiance we have rings on for now till we finish college then we get married,also 1 thing i forgot to mention she converted to muslim this year after reading the hole quran and understanding it and we are the happiest couple ever and also she is next to me right now while am writing this message and sorry about any mistakes you going to find in my writing or if the way iam writing isnt to official i try to do my best but am just first year college student,and i hate writing essays,i get good grades in everything but it,.but here we are she also want me to write right now that she is so happy in the muslim religion and its nothing like how this people acted with you or this guy who didnt let his wife sit with you to eat because i take her with me everywhere and we go out everyday,and she feels so much happier since she become muslim because it but a meaning to her life and there was so many stuff that she didnt get when she was christion and she wasnt happy about now she feels thats she is a good person that she doesnt do all the bad things she use to do when she was christion and every1 that was christion around her use to do and not care about anything thats words coming out from her mouth right now,..,.,,.and thank you so much for reading this and i hope i can help because muslim is really about peace not about hate and its about love and nothing like all this people that you met where like i just think that u need to go to the right muslims to know the truth about it....thanks again  ;)

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